Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
