It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
