remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
