i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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