Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
