Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
