That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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