Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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