I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i barfeds in our rink
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
