I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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