First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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