the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize