you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
