dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
