he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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