I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
well you can't waste a boner
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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