I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's official drugs can't kill me
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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