What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
