I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
