Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
