weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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