you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
