i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize