exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
