I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
