If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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