I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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