I murdered the dance floor call the cops
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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