Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
