GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
