You work out of a Hotel?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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