Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize