eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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