He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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