if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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