just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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