I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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