I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
