well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
