He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
