just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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