im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
