I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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