I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
