In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh god it's open bar.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
