She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
