he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
