i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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