He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i dont even know how to be here
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
