I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize