he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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