Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
