so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Terrible idea I love it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
