I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
