and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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