she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize