we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
send nudes
from the living room?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
