The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
