if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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