Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
