you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
