just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize