Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
