Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
barbara walters just said penis...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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