Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
