You're my little dorito
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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