They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
