At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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