video games are the ultimate cock blocker
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
