I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Damn victory sex feels great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize