You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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