Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize