I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
